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Speaking up for yourself is one of thee MOST critical aspects of personal empowerment and emotional well-being. It is the very definition of speaking one’s thoughts, feelings, and needs, asserting individuality and boundaries in multiple areas of life.

By you voicing your concerns, desires, and opinions, you can lay down the stepping stone for a sense of self-respect and self-worth.

This act of self-advocacy not only contributes to the development of building confidence and resilience but it also helps you build healthy relationships.

Sign me up, please!

It allows you to navigate challenges, address wrongdoings gracefully, and pursue your goals with purpose and authenticity.

Ultimately, speaking up for yourself is an essential tool that you MUST have on hand for personal growth, fostering a deeper understanding of your identity and fostering a life aligned with your values and aspirations.

So, let’s get started. 

Why it can be hard to speak up for yourself

Maybe in your childhood, you have been told that it is not okay to cry. Maybe you were punished for being angry, upset, or for even just speaking your opinion. And it is a very super common thing in strict households. But, either way, your childhood is rooted in many of the behaviors that you experience today.

Now it is up to you to change your circumstances.

How do you get the hang of speaking up for yourself?

1. First, get in touch with your Emotions.

Ever felt like your emotions were playing a game of hide and seek? You’re not alone! Studies show that individuals who were taught that their feelings don’t matter may struggle with expressing themselves. But fear not, this just means that you have not fully developed your self-awareness skills yet.

And, since self awareness is a skill, that just means that you will need consistent practice so that you can help your voice take center stage!

With this being said, make the time to learn more about the different intensity levels of your feelings so you know when you should speak up for yourself.

When you know the intensity levels of your emotions, you will get more in touch with whether or not a situation can be pushed to the side or if it should be addressed straight on.

2. Embrace being Uncomfortable

Speaking up can feel like you are at a dance party where the beat is unfamiliar, and the moves are a bit awkward. But, so what? Embrace it one step at a time. And also, learning your ideal coping techniques can also make this part easier.

So, in order to step into the world of self-expression, you gotta start somewhere. And practice will get you there to the point where you can embrace the uncomfortable feelings of assertiveness like second nature.

3. Identify What Your Boundaries Are

Boundaries are essential limits that people make to define their emotional, physical, and relational space. These limits act as your own personal self-protection, preserving your well-being and helping maintain your sense of personal identity.

Boundaries help you understand what is considered acceptable behavior, both from yourself and from other people. This fosters healthy relationships and communication.

By setting clear boundaries, you can establish a balance between compassion for others and self-respect, creating a framework for mutual understanding and respect in ALL areas of your life.

4. Learn the Art of Assertive Communication

Instead of pointing fingers and using aggressive communication or using passive communication by letting things slide, express your emotions by using assertive communication. This happens by using “I feel” statements.

“I feel” statements allow you to abide by your boundaries like LAW. It also allows you to address your needs without having to attack anyone’s personal character.

Once a person feels like they are being attacked, then the message can start to get muddy, they go on defensive mode and then they miss the main point of your message. 

You might then start to see them retaliate in return. More hateful comments, more blaming, more tone changes and then absolutely NOTHING gets resolved. 

Talk about a recipe for disaster.

For example, “I feel upset and disrespected that you didnt take out the trash after I asked you to.” Also, did you know? This is backed up by science! Studies suggest that using “I feel” statements fosters better communication and understanding.

5. Create your Own Assertiveness Anthem

Craft a mantra that reminds you of your worth and power. In order for mantras to really work, they have to be aligned with you so that it is easy for you to believe it. Then, when the time comes, that is when you want to blast it in your mind when self-doubt about speaking up for yourself creeps in.

This also goes hand in hand with manifesting so even more bonus points!

 

6. The Power Pose

I once had a client tell me how powerful power poses were. It gave my client the confidence to say what they wanted to say without fear. At first, it may feel silly but just try standing tall in the mirror, shoulders back while envisioning yourself as your ideal self.

Studies reveal that striking a power pose for just two minutes can increase confidence and decrease stress. It’s like a mini-confidence workout!

speaking up for yourself

7. Surround Yourself with a Cheer Squad

We could all use our own cheersquad, right? With so much negativity running around loose on the internet and TV, surround yourself with people who uplift and support your journey to self-expression. Positive social connections have a profound impact on mental well-being.

This is a step you don’t want to miss!

If you are looking for just the right community to do this, I recommend joining my Spiritual Self-Improvement group on Facebook.

8. Celebrate the Victories Big and Small

Whether you conquer a fear or simply speak your truth, celebrate it! Again, the Spiritual Personal Development group is GREAT for this! Because I guarantee you, you will look back and think “WOW, I did that, and I used to not be able to do that. I am proud of myself.”.

And plus, acknowledging small victories releases dopamine, the feel-good hormone, so why not?

So there you have it – a guide to finding your voice after a lifetime of being told to hide your emotions.

🎶💃💖 What are some other things that you have found helpful for finding your voice? Comment below.

 

Ready to take the actionable steps toward your mental health?

Click here to download your coping skills kit. You will receive a FREE actionable PDF guide straight to your inbox!

Sabrina Valdivia

Sabrina Valdivia

Spiritual Holisitic Counselor Intern and Coach

With a wealth of experience spanning more than 10 years, I have become a guiding light for those struggling with low self-esteem and anxiety, helping them rediscover their inner strength and self-worth.

My journey into holistic therapy and life coaching began as a personal quest for healing and self-discovery and a spiritual background from my determined single mother.

Having faced my own battles with low self-esteem and anxiety during my younger years, I intimately understood the challenges that many young women encounter in their lives.

This personal struggle ignited a passionate flame within me, inspiring me to delve into the realms of spirituality, self-help, and holistic healing modalities.

To read more about my story, click here.

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