Hey Soulful Sisters! 💖 As we embrace the blossoming energy of spring, it’s the perfect time for some spiritual spring cleaning. Trauma bonds can be deeply damaging to your overall mental health and wellbeing.

Today, let’s delve into the profound topic of how to break a trauma bond, a crucial step in your journey toward healing, manifesting and self-discovery. 🌷✨

What is a Trauma Bond?

Dr. Saxine states, “A trauma bond is a complex psychological process in which a person forms a deep emotional attachment to their abuser that is often characterized by a cycle of abuse and positive reinforcement, which can make it difficult for the victim to leave the relationship.”

Imagine you’re in a relationship with someone who’s not treating you right. Maybe they’re mean to you, or they hurt you emotionally or even physically.

Now, instead of feeling angry or wanting to get away, you find yourself feeling really attached to them. You might even defend them or make excuses for their behavior.

That’s kind of what a trauma bond is. It’s like this intense connection you feel with someone who’s hurting you.

It happens because sometimes, when we go through tough stuff with someone, our brains can get a little mixed up. We start to feel like we need them, even if they’re not good for us.

You might feel scared to leave because you’re worried about what they’ll do or because you’re afraid of being alone. You might even think that things will get better if you just stick it out.

But then later you really realize that you need to learn how to break a trauma bond.


Signs You May be in a Trauma Bond

Identifying whether you’re entangled in a trauma bond is the first step towards learning how to break a trauma bond. Here are the common signs. 

1. Dependency

You become emotionally reliant on the person, feeling unable to cope or function without their presence or approval.

2. Intense fear

You may experience intense fear or anxiety at the thought of leaving the person, fearing retaliation or abandonment.

3. Isolation

You may withdraw from friends, family, or support networks, either due to your partner’s influence or out of fear of judgment.

4. Self Blame

Victims of trauma bonds often blame themselves for their partner’s behavior, believing they somehow deserve it or provoked it.

How Trauma Bonds Form

Picture this: You’re already dealing with some tough stuff in your life, like maybe problems at home or feeling really insecure about yourself.

Now, along comes someone who seems really cool or nice at first. They might pay you a lot of attention or say things that make you feel good about yourself.

And when you’re already feeling down, it’s easy to get drawn to someone who seems to understand you or make you feel special.

But then, things start to change. Maybe they start treating you badly or doing things that hurt you.

And here’s the tricky part: Even though you know it’s not okay, you might still stick around because you’re afraid of being alone or because you hope things will get better.

See, when you’re already dealing with tough stuff like anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem, it can really mess with your judgment. You might start to believe that you deserve to be treated badly or that this is just how relationships are supposed to be.

That’s how a trauma bond can form.

Why it's Important to Break Away from a Trauma Bond

It’s important to know how to break a trauma bond but it’s also crucial to understand why it’s super important to break away from it.

Staying in a trauma bonded relationship can really mess you up. It can make you feel worthless, scared, and miserable. And you deserve so much better than that.

You deserve to be with someone who respects you, cares about you, and treats you like the amazing person you are.

Plus, staying in a toxic relationship can hold you back from living your best life. It can stop you from reaching your goals, pursuing your passions, manifesting, and being truly happy.

And nobody wants that for you, not even yourself.

This is the step forward in reprogramming your subconscious to get the life that you want. 


Learning how to break a trauma bond might feel scary or hard at first, but it is sooooo worth it!

Once you’re free from all that negativity, you can start to heal, rebuild yourself, and manifest.

You can surround yourself with people who love and support you, who lift you up instead of dragging you down.


How to Break a Trauma Bond

1. Connect with Your Inner Child

 Inside each of us, there’s this little version of ourselves – our inner child. This little you holds onto all the memories, feelings, and experiences from when you were young.

Now, if you’ve been through tough stuff in your past, like maybe you didn’t get the love and support you needed, or you experienced abuse or neglect, that inner child can end up feeling hurt, scared, or even abandoned.

And here’s where it gets tricky: When you grow up, those feelings don’t just magically disappear. They stick around, affecting how you see yourself and how you relate to others.

So, when you’re in a trauma bond, it’s like your inner child is calling the shots. Maybe you’re staying in a bad relationship because deep down, you’re hoping to get the love and validation you missed out on as a kid.

Or maybe you’re afraid to leave because it feels like you’re abandoning that wounded part of yourself.

But here’s the thing: Healing your inner child is all about giving that little you the love, comfort, and support they didn’t get before. It’s about recognizing that you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect, no matter what happened in the past.

And when you start to heal that inner child, something amazing happens: You start to understand how to break a trauma bond and the patterns that keep you stuck in unhealthy relationships.

You learn to set boundaries, to value yourself, and to seek out relationships that are truly supportive and loving. 

2. Identify and Set Healthy Boundaries

Establishing boundaries is crucial for protecting your emotional and spiritual space. It starts by identifying what you are okay with and what you are not okay with.

Then communicate your needs using an assertive tone.

Assertive tone usually looks like statements that start with “I am feeling…”

It doesnt involve any name calling, yelling, or passive-aggressive behaviors, like the silent treatment or acts of sabotoge.

It involves learning to speak up for yourself.


3. Seek Support to Understand How to Break a Trauma Bond

If you’re in a situation like this, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Talk to someone you trust, like a friend, family member, mentor or counselor. They can help you figure out a plan to break free and start living your life on your own terms.

A mental health professional especially will help guide you in learning how to break a trauma bond.

You deserve to be happy, and breaking away from a trauma bond is the first step towards that happiness.

This is also something that should not be taken lightly. If you are in any immediate danger, call 911 or get connected to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.


Find your tribe offline and online

how to break a trauma bond

You may find your tribe offline by gathering your group that has a friend, family member, and professional in it. BUT, finding your tribe offline can also have its benefits. I recommend joining the free Facebook Spiritual Community. 

You can post your issues anonymously and get multiple perspectives along with actionable tips from mental health experts. There is a special type of healing power in shared experiences. 

Both avenues, offline and online can help you acknowledge progress and growth as you reflect back.



Conclusion on How to Break a Trauma Bond

Spring cleaning is coming up and it’s time to know how to break a trauma bond. Embrace the transformative power and step into a season of spiritual renewal and wholeness.

🌸💖 Share with us your experiences and tips for breaking trauma bonds on this beautiful journey of spiritual spring cleaning.

Comment below on what has helped you learn how to break a trauma bond and let’s support each other on the path to healing and self-discovery. 🌺🌟

Sabrina Valdivia

Sabrina Valdivia

Spiritual Holisitic Counselor Intern and Coach

With a wealth of experience spanning more than 10 years, I have become a guiding light for those struggling with low self-esteem and anxiety, helping them rediscover their inner strength and self-worth.

My journey into holistic therapy and life coaching began as a personal quest for healing and self-discovery and a spiritual background from my determined single mother.

Having faced my own battles with low self-esteem and anxiety during my younger years, I intimately understood the challenges that many young women encounter in their lives.

This personal struggle ignited a passionate flame within me, inspiring me to delve into the realms of spirituality, self-help, and holistic healing modalities.

To read more about my story, click here.


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